Posts Tagged ‘self discilpines’

Kairos Time

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

(Kairos Time refers to an ancient Greek word (Kairos) meaning the right or opportune moment.)

birdsonbranch

Life is such a grand adventure. Only a month ago I was in a serious internal question about what the heck I was doing wrong? It had felt like nothing was coming easy.
My daily practice includes a form of mediation, inquiry, embodied experience of the future in the present, surrender, letting go….
My forever prayer has been to ask to be used in the biggest way possible, to serve the most people with humility and grace. (I guess there is a paradox even in this sentence…for the biggest work possible may have a touch of my agenda…my ego need! Who is to say that smiling at the bus driver is not the biggest work?)

During this time of winter I said yes to any work, with gratitude. Paid or not paid…just to be able to do what I do well and to throw myself out to service, with trust. (This is not to say that trust was always present. Many times I doubted, and fear and scarcity were walking with me, even as I begged them to leave.)

Up until 1 month ago I felt that the doors to the Universe were still closed. There was no flow. I was standing outside the stream, watching it flow right by me.

“What am I doing wrong?” I beseeched to the heavens?

“And then finally…”What is this all about?”

“Endurance!” was the answer. “Oh…endurance”, I said. I know endurance well. I have spent the last 15 years of my life in the daily practice of endurance sport. And I seem to have a natural talent for it. So I wrote the article on Endurance.

And at about the same time, doors started to open. Something shifted. I was back in the flow. I do believe that this was not about where my mind was, but rather that this timing, what is called Kairos time. Heavenly time. Its the timing stuff we need to surrender to.

Retrospection is a wonderful thing. It makes the paradoxical and irrational and unreasonable make some form of sense. I am someone who likes to make sense of things. Most of us like to have some idea of just where we are on the map. Which way is north. During these past months, my compass was working as if I were living at one of the poles, north was everywhere and anywhere. Unfixed. Moved with every step. Very discombobulating.

And such great training too, as the qualities I believe we need to get us through the current times include the ability to throw all the cards in the air and have them stay in the air. To be comfortable in the most uncomfortable of places, uncertainty. Phew, what a practice is this one, especially for an orderly Virgoan.

Kairos time kicked in and doors I had been knocking on for years, seem to be opening.

Of course! It could only be this way. We don’t need faith and trust when the bounty of life overflows on our lap. Its when the cupboards are bare and there is no sign of spring that faith is required. And always, through good and bad, practice and self discipline. (disciple unto the self) are required.

For years I have been working away, building my skills. Always learning, doing the inner work. Never shirking. I have made many mistakes, the biggest of which has to get caught up in other peoples journeys and compare them to mine, making mine wrong or less than theirs. So strange really, because in my sport I gave that silly little practice up long ago. Decided that the only race I had any control over was my own..so I might as well focus on that. And that my race would go just as it does on the day. Some days spectacular, some days average and some days frankly hard from the first step. That the mind component is only a part of the equation, all be it a significant part. The prework and training, experience, self care all contribute. And that there is this other mysterious piece, over which we have no control. This thing I call Kairos time. Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late. That I do believe there is some divine music playing that knows intrinsically when the melody peaks to crescendo, or falls into long spaces and darkness.

Listening to Caroline Myss over the weekend, she said in in another way. We have to have   done our time before we have the right to teach and work in the realm of the mystics.

I have done my time. I know it now. I did not know it a month ago. I was still in my wanting mind, comparing myself to others, doubting self and the divine order. Finally, I let go. For of course that was what was needed. To really let go and let God. To longer need, or want,  to be OK with who I am, just as I am OK with my running ability.

And of course, as Kairos time would have it, the doors then opened. I can see God laughing at the paradox of it all. How else would I learn trust, patience, endurance and surrender? It is so perfect it can only be funny.

Lets drink to Kairos time….

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The Graceful Art of Self Discipline

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

As a student of R.Buckminster Fuller, I have found his core foundation of self disciplines very inspiring. (See Critical Path, Chapter 4.) Late last year I resolved to form my own set. I will be clear, this is not the first time I have created a list -or code- to live by. The distinction is that this is the first time I have, in my increasing maturity, created a list that I know in my heart resonates with my highest values and that I hold the highest commitment to.
I was determined to keep this list as brief as possible. And to have it as part of my daily practice of review. No good to make it and throw it in the drawer. Each day I read this list and check that I honour my agreement to self. If I am unable to honour this agreement to self, then I will watch as my self esteem erodes, and I become a person I am unable to trust. I will not be my word.

Discipline =Disciple unto the self.
Disciple = pupil, to learn, to take apart, to grasp intellectually.

An important distinction to make about discipline is that to truly be a disciple unto the self, we need to discriminate between when to do what we have said we would do because to not would be failing ourselves and others, and when the body/soul/mind would be better served to take a break. This is the fine distinction between discipline and obsession. Obsession is when the mind/ego is in control, discipline is when the self/our highest wisdom, is clearly heard and acted on. Learning to distinguish between the voice of the ego and the voice of the highest self is one of the journeys we take as we learn to honour self. These skill sets are critical in leadership development and positive deviance.

Show me anyone who has ever achieved anything of significance without a healthy dose of discipline?

Many people find discipline abhorrent. In our world, the search for freedom is such a big deal, that we have simply forgotten that the partner of freedom is discipline. They are paired, forever, as the two sides of a coin.
In 2005 I wrote an article about this paradox of freedom. Please review this at
http://casts.webvalence.com/sites/DareToCare/Broadcast.D20051129.html
If you want more freedom, consider then your own self disciplines. If you want a foundation for leadership development, or to be a better leader…this is a place to start.

I share with you now the list I have as my core self disciplines. I will go through each one briefly, explaining what they are and what they mean to me. They are in no particular order. Each one is significant and synergistic.

1. Clean Communication
2. Daily exercise-maintain health
3. Spend less than I earn. Pay cash only for personal items.
4. Learn fully from my mistakes.
5. Be in Gratitude
6. Give more than I take
7. Be open/receptive
8. Let go, let God
9. Impeccable Integrity
10. Use gravitational attraction as my marketing plan, by giving massively to more people.
11. Say no to anything unless it is an absolute yes.

1. Clean Communication
This simply means that there is nothing I need to say, to anyone, at anytime. I have no residual upset, there is nothing about another persons actions or words to me that bug me on any level. I have a more comprehensive article on this at…..

2. Daily Exercise-Maintain Health
This one is easy for me, as I have been practising health and self care for 15 years. However, it is important that I keep this on the list, as I also get to look at the multiple ways I maintain health. Good food from local suppliers, great sleep, great company and emotional support, plenty of exercise that makes me feel good and happy, keeping my weight at its right place..these are some of the components of great health. I feel vital, alive, energised.

3.Spend less than I earn. Spend only cash for personal items
This one has been an achilles heel for me (and for many others, as evident in our current global situation). How easy has it been to pay for things by credit! Enough. We have to learn patience, restraint, and what ENOUGH means.

4.Learn Fully From My Mistakes
Mistakes are the way we learn. They are the good guys, yet we so often see them as the bad guys. They become bad guys if we make the same mistake over and over again.To take the time to review mistakes, understand our process in making them, and be certain we do not need to repeat the mistake again, is a worthy investment of time. You will know when you have got the lesson because there will be zero residue. No guilt, shame, embarrassment, upset, angst, anger etc. All gone. Very liberating.

5. Be in Gratitude
People I admire most alive and dead speak about gratitude and the daily practise of gratitude. Each night before I go to bed I have a gratitude journal, where I list the things I am grateful for on this day. This is really easy to do when you have great days, harder to do when you are miserable, or have endured suffering. We can always find gratitude. We breath, we think…As a runner I am always grateful for being able to walk and run. Those times when I am injured and am unable to run or walk without pain remind me of the very simple pleasure of running and walking freely. We have so much to be grateful for.

6. Give more than I take
Generosity of heart, mind and spirit is worth cultivating. There is a big distinction between givers and takers. Persistent takers suck energy. Their gluttony for certain things indicates a broken part of themselves that is forever unfilled. Some givers have to also learn to take.  They can find receiving unbearable, indicating a part of themselves that feels unworthy. I aim to be ever mindful of giving more, and to be sure that I do. Giving comes in many forms. A kind thought, a smile, a compliment, physical gifts, time, energy, prayer.

7. Be Open/Receptive
An open mind and open heart require vigilance to maintain. It is very easy for us to shut down. We either shut down our thinking, and live in righteousness, or shut down our heart and block expansiveness and love. We can also shut down our body, and withdraw self from the world. As we grow in maturity we do need to learn discrimination about when it is wise to build some boundaries and protections. Not every message out there is healthy for the soul. Distinguishing between messages sent with love and to add value, and messages sent to harm and overpower is an important part of learning about being open and receptive.

8. Let go Let God
This is one of my most challenging self disciplines. I am not religious, however I do believe in a higher organising intelligence that we simply do not have a vocabulary to describe adequately. Call it God, or the unified field, or Great Spirit, or Divine Intelligence, to surrender to Grace is one of the most sacred acts of trust, and one of the highest ways to honour self.
First we do have to learn to distinguish between the voice of ego and the voice of truth. The voice of truth is usually calm, without emotion, consistent. The voice of ego usually has an energy about it that is edgy, demanding, desiring, wanting.
In this practice we need to allow silence and grace into our lives. It requires complete surrender and deep trust.
It is certainly the road less travelled, and in no way guarantees our life will be a blissful place where we spend our days skipping down the yellow brick road tossing daffodils. What it does guarantee is that we will grow in self esteem, and our lives will be rich beyond measure with love, the miraculous, the mysterious and beautiful.

9. Impeccable Integrity
The practise of integrity is multifaceted. Integrity means wholeness. To live an integrous life means to live in truth at every level of self. Expressing ourselves as we were designed. On the micro level it means no lying, either overtly, or covertly. It means that what we say to self and others, is what we do. It means taking the highest road possible. When we look into our eyes in the mirror, we know we are in truth.

10. Using gravitational attraction as my marketing plan, by giving massively to ever more people.
Gravitational attraction is about increased mass. I don’t mean literal physical mass, but metaphysical energetic mass. The more we live in impeccable integrity and all of the other self disciplines mentioned, the more mass we have. And the more mass we have the more attraction works.(This point speaks to marketing at the individual level specifically. No matter what work you do, self employed, employed etc, you need to have a personal marketing plan. Gravitational attraction also works for businesses and companies. It is the invisible difference that makes the difference.)
There are some very subtly seductive marketing methods that make my skin crawl. They appeal to our greed, or loneliness, or our desires to be rich. We read their long spiels and find ourselves saying yes to something that we actually don’t really want.
Bucky refused to market at all. While I do think his choice was the extreme, and he did so consciously to demonstrate how the Universe would support him, integrous marketing allows for the people who want and need the service you are offering to be able to find you to make a clear choice that is in their highest interests. It means offering way more value than people expect, and allowing relationship to build through generosity. Simultaneously, a clear acknowledgement of the value you have to offer is presented.

11. Say no to anything unless it is an absolute yes
Syzergy means alignment. When we are in complete alignment and every cell, muscle, heart beat, says to us YES, then go for it. Anything that is not this needs to be put on hold, worked through, more questions need to be asked, until we reach this place of YES.
This practice means we avoid the experience of…if only I had of listened.It also honours our spirit and infinite wisdom.

Bucky’s self disciplines and mine are different. When I decided to write my own set, I wanted to choose ones that I could honour and knew I would keep.

I have shown you my choices with the intention of inspiring you to create your own. If you have had a weak self discipline up until this time, then only choose one to start. Be sure you choose with great consciousness and intent. And then stick to it as if your life depended on it. For at the soul level, it really does.

Remember, these are there to set you free.

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