Posts Tagged ‘Leadership Development’

“Lincoln,” wisdom, adult human development and a yearning for leadership

Monday, February 11th, 2013

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For at least 120 seconds after the movie ended no one stirred in the cinema. We all knew the ending. Lincoln was assassinated. It is an indication of a great movie that an audience, and an Aussie audience at that, stay silent and moved, long after a movie ends, deep in the story. Perhaps wanting the ending to be different. Wanting history to have rewritten itself. Maybe even, like me, wanting, so deep in my marrow, for a leader like Lincoln to rise again in the world, somewhere, and have the fortitude and courage to speak up, stand up, take the kind of bold and daring action we so long to see.

But at what price this action that needs to be taken? For Lincoln, it was war, and the death of so many people. We look back in history and we know that there was a descent into darkness for there to be light. Most of the great leaders of history have had to choose a path like this…where there are casualties, and those casualties are children of mothers and fathers.

Lincoln was a great man. Like all of us, he was deeply floored. Greatness is not an easy path. It is why so few walk it. Yet he risked everything for what he believed was right, even his life.

As I looked out across the magnificent blues and whites and brights of the Pacific Ocean this Sunday morning, I thought about truth… and honestly… and ethics… and Lincoln. He was willing to blur the line of ethics, through his journey, to get the vote to end slavery.

Does the end ever justify the means? Is there ever a time to manipulate, to bribe? And how do we not fall from the very thin precipice of blurred ethics into pure evil? Where does wisdom live? Is death and war ever justified?

Abraham Lincoln to Ulysses S. Grant “Each of us has made it possible for the other to do terrible things.”

These are questions few of us regular mortals have to face in our own decision process. But our leaders do face these decisions. Our leaders of industry and public life. The CEO that says go drill for oil in Alaska, no matter what the cost. The president who says bomb here, kill there.

Wisdom asks us to consider why? Why do we drill? Why do we send men and women to war an death? Why do we coerce someone to vote yes, or no? Is the why ever big enough?

These questions have challenged us through the ages. The power of asking these questions opens us to wisdom. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only the answer that is right in the larger context of this moment in time. And few of us take into account that larger context. Few of us consider the whole, as we decide on the parts. As we judge the Obama’s of the world, never really knowing the back story, the story that doesn’t live in the public domain.

It is so easy to be black and white…that truth should be spoken 100% of the time, that to stray from the path of truth ever is a descent into the abyss of evil. That war is always wrong. I am mindful that the moment I utter the word ‘always’ and any other absolute, I invoke righteousness.
I have reflected on this, on this glorious Sunday morning, as I recognise that I have been one who held truth as inviolate, no matter what. And that maybe, just maybe, this stand of mine may, on some rare occasion, be the opposite of what is called for. That great leadership is the ability to know the difference, and to not then descend into evil. To bare the full measure of your decision.

Now that is a cross to bare.

History has shown, again and again, that there are times when it is called upon for leaders to make very hard choices that have a high price. The leader that can make these kinds of decisions, the leader that chooses to descend and yet returns again from the darkness without letting evil inhabit his soul, is a rare leader.

Wisdom is acquired through rigorous development of the interior. The tragedy, and perhaps one of the reasons why we have so few wise leaders at this time in history, is that we give little credence to developing our interiors in our business schools, corporations and institutions of higher learning. Adult human development is simply not something that people see as that important.

Without it, without an intentional focus on evolving wisdom in leadership, we are doomed.

Please share your thoughts on this rich and somewhat controversial topic.

Oh..and by the way…this is the work I have done for the last 15 years…the development of leaders, not through brief coaching conversations over a short 6 or 12 months, but through hours and hours over years and years of skillful stewarding of another human to step into their evolving wisdom. It is the most privileged work I know.

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The Graceful Art of Self Discipline

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

As a student of R.Buckminster Fuller, I have found his core foundation of self disciplines very inspiring. (See Critical Path, Chapter 4.) Late last year I resolved to form my own set. I will be clear, this is not the first time I have created a list -or code- to live by. The distinction is that this is the first time I have, in my increasing maturity, created a list that I know in my heart resonates with my highest values and that I hold the highest commitment to.
I was determined to keep this list as brief as possible. And to have it as part of my daily practice of review. No good to make it and throw it in the drawer. Each day I read this list and check that I honour my agreement to self. If I am unable to honour this agreement to self, then I will watch as my self esteem erodes, and I become a person I am unable to trust. I will not be my word.

Discipline =Disciple unto the self.
Disciple = pupil, to learn, to take apart, to grasp intellectually.

An important distinction to make about discipline is that to truly be a disciple unto the self, we need to discriminate between when to do what we have said we would do because to not would be failing ourselves and others, and when the body/soul/mind would be better served to take a break. This is the fine distinction between discipline and obsession. Obsession is when the mind/ego is in control, discipline is when the self/our highest wisdom, is clearly heard and acted on. Learning to distinguish between the voice of the ego and the voice of the highest self is one of the journeys we take as we learn to honour self. These skill sets are critical in leadership development and positive deviance.

Show me anyone who has ever achieved anything of significance without a healthy dose of discipline?

Many people find discipline abhorrent. In our world, the search for freedom is such a big deal, that we have simply forgotten that the partner of freedom is discipline. They are paired, forever, as the two sides of a coin.
In 2005 I wrote an article about this paradox of freedom. Please review this at
http://casts.webvalence.com/sites/DareToCare/Broadcast.D20051129.html
If you want more freedom, consider then your own self disciplines. If you want a foundation for leadership development, or to be a better leader…this is a place to start.

I share with you now the list I have as my core self disciplines. I will go through each one briefly, explaining what they are and what they mean to me. They are in no particular order. Each one is significant and synergistic.

1. Clean Communication
2. Daily exercise-maintain health
3. Spend less than I earn. Pay cash only for personal items.
4. Learn fully from my mistakes.
5. Be in Gratitude
6. Give more than I take
7. Be open/receptive
8. Let go, let God
9. Impeccable Integrity
10. Use gravitational attraction as my marketing plan, by giving massively to more people.
11. Say no to anything unless it is an absolute yes.

1. Clean Communication
This simply means that there is nothing I need to say, to anyone, at anytime. I have no residual upset, there is nothing about another persons actions or words to me that bug me on any level. I have a more comprehensive article on this at…..

2. Daily Exercise-Maintain Health
This one is easy for me, as I have been practising health and self care for 15 years. However, it is important that I keep this on the list, as I also get to look at the multiple ways I maintain health. Good food from local suppliers, great sleep, great company and emotional support, plenty of exercise that makes me feel good and happy, keeping my weight at its right place..these are some of the components of great health. I feel vital, alive, energised.

3.Spend less than I earn. Spend only cash for personal items
This one has been an achilles heel for me (and for many others, as evident in our current global situation). How easy has it been to pay for things by credit! Enough. We have to learn patience, restraint, and what ENOUGH means.

4.Learn Fully From My Mistakes
Mistakes are the way we learn. They are the good guys, yet we so often see them as the bad guys. They become bad guys if we make the same mistake over and over again.To take the time to review mistakes, understand our process in making them, and be certain we do not need to repeat the mistake again, is a worthy investment of time. You will know when you have got the lesson because there will be zero residue. No guilt, shame, embarrassment, upset, angst, anger etc. All gone. Very liberating.

5. Be in Gratitude
People I admire most alive and dead speak about gratitude and the daily practise of gratitude. Each night before I go to bed I have a gratitude journal, where I list the things I am grateful for on this day. This is really easy to do when you have great days, harder to do when you are miserable, or have endured suffering. We can always find gratitude. We breath, we think…As a runner I am always grateful for being able to walk and run. Those times when I am injured and am unable to run or walk without pain remind me of the very simple pleasure of running and walking freely. We have so much to be grateful for.

6. Give more than I take
Generosity of heart, mind and spirit is worth cultivating. There is a big distinction between givers and takers. Persistent takers suck energy. Their gluttony for certain things indicates a broken part of themselves that is forever unfilled. Some givers have to also learn to take.  They can find receiving unbearable, indicating a part of themselves that feels unworthy. I aim to be ever mindful of giving more, and to be sure that I do. Giving comes in many forms. A kind thought, a smile, a compliment, physical gifts, time, energy, prayer.

7. Be Open/Receptive
An open mind and open heart require vigilance to maintain. It is very easy for us to shut down. We either shut down our thinking, and live in righteousness, or shut down our heart and block expansiveness and love. We can also shut down our body, and withdraw self from the world. As we grow in maturity we do need to learn discrimination about when it is wise to build some boundaries and protections. Not every message out there is healthy for the soul. Distinguishing between messages sent with love and to add value, and messages sent to harm and overpower is an important part of learning about being open and receptive.

8. Let go Let God
This is one of my most challenging self disciplines. I am not religious, however I do believe in a higher organising intelligence that we simply do not have a vocabulary to describe adequately. Call it God, or the unified field, or Great Spirit, or Divine Intelligence, to surrender to Grace is one of the most sacred acts of trust, and one of the highest ways to honour self.
First we do have to learn to distinguish between the voice of ego and the voice of truth. The voice of truth is usually calm, without emotion, consistent. The voice of ego usually has an energy about it that is edgy, demanding, desiring, wanting.
In this practice we need to allow silence and grace into our lives. It requires complete surrender and deep trust.
It is certainly the road less travelled, and in no way guarantees our life will be a blissful place where we spend our days skipping down the yellow brick road tossing daffodils. What it does guarantee is that we will grow in self esteem, and our lives will be rich beyond measure with love, the miraculous, the mysterious and beautiful.

9. Impeccable Integrity
The practise of integrity is multifaceted. Integrity means wholeness. To live an integrous life means to live in truth at every level of self. Expressing ourselves as we were designed. On the micro level it means no lying, either overtly, or covertly. It means that what we say to self and others, is what we do. It means taking the highest road possible. When we look into our eyes in the mirror, we know we are in truth.

10. Using gravitational attraction as my marketing plan, by giving massively to ever more people.
Gravitational attraction is about increased mass. I don’t mean literal physical mass, but metaphysical energetic mass. The more we live in impeccable integrity and all of the other self disciplines mentioned, the more mass we have. And the more mass we have the more attraction works.(This point speaks to marketing at the individual level specifically. No matter what work you do, self employed, employed etc, you need to have a personal marketing plan. Gravitational attraction also works for businesses and companies. It is the invisible difference that makes the difference.)
There are some very subtly seductive marketing methods that make my skin crawl. They appeal to our greed, or loneliness, or our desires to be rich. We read their long spiels and find ourselves saying yes to something that we actually don’t really want.
Bucky refused to market at all. While I do think his choice was the extreme, and he did so consciously to demonstrate how the Universe would support him, integrous marketing allows for the people who want and need the service you are offering to be able to find you to make a clear choice that is in their highest interests. It means offering way more value than people expect, and allowing relationship to build through generosity. Simultaneously, a clear acknowledgement of the value you have to offer is presented.

11. Say no to anything unless it is an absolute yes
Syzergy means alignment. When we are in complete alignment and every cell, muscle, heart beat, says to us YES, then go for it. Anything that is not this needs to be put on hold, worked through, more questions need to be asked, until we reach this place of YES.
This practice means we avoid the experience of…if only I had of listened.It also honours our spirit and infinite wisdom.

Bucky’s self disciplines and mine are different. When I decided to write my own set, I wanted to choose ones that I could honour and knew I would keep.

I have shown you my choices with the intention of inspiring you to create your own. If you have had a weak self discipline up until this time, then only choose one to start. Be sure you choose with great consciousness and intent. And then stick to it as if your life depended on it. For at the soul level, it really does.

Remember, these are there to set you free.

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