Anyone who has been on a team knows that add or subtract one person, and the dynamics of the team changes. Add one more child to a family, the dynamics change. Each team has its pattern integrity. Each relationship between two or more humans has its pattern integrity. Further, each relationship between human and other living things has its pattern integrity. By pattern integrity (see part 1 and 2 of this article) I mean a unique dynamic that is present and holds the integrity of that relationship. If the pattern integrity is not maintained, the relationship breaks down, or breaks up.
At the more complex level, an idea has a pattern integrity. When it is originally born as an idea or impulse, it has an integrity to it, like a seed has a DNA. If we do too much genetic, or in this case, memetic (memes are ideas) modification to the core DNA, we will end up with something very much out of integrity to the original idea/impulse.
This memetic modification happens more often than not. We get seduced by all variations of egoic distractions, like offers for money, fame, and the accouterments of ‘success’. Or by bright shiny objects of various forms. Before we know it, we wake up and our idea is nothing like what we held originally. To hold the pattern integrity of an idea, or a business, or a relationship requires focused effort and attention. Tragically, few people give relationships or ideas this kind of attention consistently.
A business has its own pattern integrity. (I hope you now realise that every dynamic has a pattern integrity…a tree, a spade, a blade of grass, an hour in the day)
Just as in part 2, we tuned into the unique pattern integrity that is you, we are now going to tune into the pattern integrity of your business, or your primary relationships.
In tuning in, it is also important to recognise that each pattern integrity has a beginning, and an end. To honour the pattern integrity of a relationship, we need also to honour that it may be at its natural end. This is dependent on the core DNA of that particular relationship. Endings do not mean failure. They mean endings of the pattern integrity. What is complete is complete. It is the incompletions that cause havoc and emotional/physical stress.
Lets consider an intimate personal relationship. You meet, and whether you like it or not (despite yourself) a dynamic field is already present. Just as two atoms at the quantum level create a field when in approximation of each other, two humans create a field. The integrity of the field is not something you can tamper with. It is a result of everything that has been present to this moment in your life, and everything that has been present in the life of the other. This is what you are tuning into when you tune into the pattern integrity of the relationship. The field can morph with time and changed circumstances, but the core DNA is very consistent. There is a purpose to the dynamic of the relationship that transcends human contamination. When that purpose is done, then so is the relationship. If we really honour the pattern integrity of the relationship, if we approach it with wisdom, then the pattern integrity will inform us as to the nature of the dynamic from moment to moment.
I have been working with a young client who created a project 18 months ago. It was an ambitious project, and from his point of view it failed. When we sit in consideration of this project, he now clearly sees that his original idea was then distorted through giving his power/authority away to people he felt knew better, and/or being seduced by shiny objects, to the point that his original idea looked nothing like its core seed. When he had to pull the pin on the project he suffered tremendous feelings of failure. The work we are now engaged in is to get ALL of the lessons from this experience. In my experience, when people get all of the lessons, they switch from being bitter and disappointed, to being in gratitude. Resentment, vengeance, disappointment, blame, anger..are all residual emotions from unreconciled lessons. The core impulse that this young client had is still resident. In time, and by affording this impulse its respect and honour, he may be able to maintain the pattern integrity of the impulse, and allow it to become expressed in the world in the form for which it was designed.
In my own life, as I use this “tuning in” tool, I listen to the pattern integrity of all of my relationships, with people and with my business. My business has its own dynamic, which is emergent, and therefore ever calling for refining and recrafting. To tune into its expression is a very powerful activity that deserves at least several hours of time a week. (What Michael Gerber from the E-myth talked about as working ‘on’ your business. Here I am suggesting a slight refinement…working ‘with’ your business. Working in partnership with the unique pattern integrity of your business.)
This time of year (late December) is a great time to pause and tune into the pattern integrities of all of our relationships, and with our business, our teams, our families.
To NOT tune to the things that most matter in our life is a tragedy. I urge you to take at least a morning, create a lovely space free from distractions, and tune in…be still, hold the pattern integrity of the dynamic you are tuning in to in front of you in your minds eye, and inquire.
what do you need from me right now to support your fullest expression?
what I am not seeing that you have been working tirelessly to have me see?
what is the truth of this dynamic (write it down, no editing)
what did I do well to support the pattern integrity in 2011?
what do I need to do better?
what would you like to see expressed in 2012?
is there any one thing that I need to do right now to support the fullest expression of the pattern integrity?
I will be taking the time to sit in these questions in reference to my two businesses over the Christmas New Year break. And will do the same with my primary relationships, including the relationship I have with my body. Care to join me?